I have c9me to kn9w this 6l9g and must say that while m9st Tumblr 6l9gs are filled with NSFW and vulgar stuff, this 6l9g provides me an useful medium with which t9 spread my great kn9wledge 9f racial 9ppressi9n. This medium is the candy c9rn s9mething female y9u refer to as, "Aranna S9rket", wh9se charming yet l9ng-winded speeches fit perfectly well with my kn9wledge and dial9gual a6ility and may extend 6ey9nd simple pr9fessi9nal c9lla69rati9n t9 me and Aranna bec9ming matesprits [...]
- - Cranky Vasquez's ask to Meanie Pixies and Aranna Sorket's blog, Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens
|Part of the Jonson family|
Rose Quartz Vasquez (half)
|In a relationship with Aranna Sorket|
|No children known|
|In a relationship with Joey Claire|
|No children known|
It has been established that Cranky and Aranna Sorket were in a relationship prior to the events of The Belorussian Aliens. In the story, he is characterized by making long-winded speeches, which caused tension between Cranky and Aranna. Like various other Belorussians, Cranky joined Meanie and Aranna at the Frog Temple hosted at the pink moon of Belarus, and was subsequently attempted to be killed by Meanie. However, Cranky became aware of the fact, and threw the bomb that Meanie was going to use upwards, which destroyed Belarus instead. Meanie, though, succeeds in killing herself, him and all their friends on her second attempt.
Little is known about Cranky's establishment on the Earth, other than that he is the kid of Jhonen Eggert-Vasquez and Karkel Sparkel-Vasquez. This makes Cranky and Skepness Man Beauregarde cousins, and this relationship was mentioned in Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host.
Cranky is not seen until Aranna has already met Flashlight Girl. The three thus join forces, using Skepness Man's technology, and a romance develops between Cranky and Flashlight Girl. In the triad of chronomads established, Cranky is described as "the big historian who expanded Enchiridion Marrissa into an even greater book". This book, after the three have already reformed themselves to be "The Time Police", comes to play in Marrissaverse Stories 2015, where it is shattered, and Cranky is struggling to piece it together.
Once he is taken away by Meanie to live in Belarus Nouveau, later to be renamed Altair, as Meanie assumes the role of Candacension Pixies, she gives her team nicknames; Cranky's in particular is "Surfer Sinless". It is presumed that Cranky dies in Altair, long before Chell Joy, Louise and Bertha come to search for him to inform him about his half-sister Rose Quartz Vasquez.
- His chumhandle is communispeechGatherer.
- His Tumblr blog is 1st-s9cial-justice-place.tumblr.com.
- His ancestor and "grandpaternal figure" is Cakeman Vasquez, allegedly named after GLaDOS's obsession with cake. Both Cranky and Cakeman have their own place in the Jonson family.
- Post-SCrash Session (Mentioned only)
- Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens (First appearance)
- Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host
- Post-SCrash Session 4: Parody of a Parade
- Marrissaverse Stories 2015
- The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out (Mentioned only)
- Meanie Pixies' Hour of Fame
- ↑ While he does not appear in Portal High School at all, he is mentioned as a graduate of it in The AG 1991 Premiere of Inside Out.